Review: Nightbird by Shavaun Scott

Synopsis: Nightbird, by Shavaun Scott, is a profoundly intimate memoir that charts one woman's perilous journey through a childhood steeped in religious guilt, suffocating family dynamics, and an industrial hometown where "breathing was dangerous"-amid cycles of abuse, gaslighting, and heartbreak, she fights to hold onto her sense of self-until a haunting moment where the man she has loved leaves her with a devastating goodbye, casting blame at her feet.

Scott takes us through the turbulence of a life shaped by deep-rooted superstition, fundamentalist religion, and crushing grief. Themes of mental illness and intimate partner abuse are explored with unflinching honesty. Scott sheds light on this poorly understood topics, on the aggressive nature of a subtype of suicide associated with domestic violence. She show us the motivations behind revenge suicide, and the process of recover from it.

Propelled by a fierce will to understand the human mind, Shavaun discovers psychology as both salvation and profession. As she transitions from a frightened, isolated child to a crisis intervention therapist, she bears witness to the complicated truths behind mental illness and the limits of therapy. Nightbird is her raw testament: a testament to survival, the power of community, and the liberation that comes from naming our shadows and breaking free of self-destructive bonds. Visceral, unflinching, and ultimately hopeful, Nightbird reminds us that healing is possible-even after standing on the edge of our darkest fears as she paints a poignant portrait that sheds a bright light on intimate partner abuse leading to revenge suicide, grief, and the hard-won transformation of self-recovery.

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Like some forms of domestic violence, this memoir sneaks up on you over time before you finally realise that you have been suckered into what is a brutally honest, yet easy to read narrative constructed by the author, and which will reasonate long after reading.

Scott documents in the form of a memoir, her life from her childhood and strict religious upbringing, to her marriages and finally her emergence as a woman who refuses to let the past define her future. Scott openly lets the reader into her life, especially the years in which she was subjected to a subtle form of domestic violence at the hands of her husband. Not all forms of domestic violence are overt and physical - some are subtle behaviours, built up progressively over times before the final realisation sets in - and for some, it is already too late. Scott herself is open, admitting that she ignored the red flags and had zero skills in setting boundaries, commenting that her emotional life with Robert was "a cyclone".

Through her work as a psychologist and crisis worker, Scott slowly begins to find form to explain her husband Robert's behaviours and it is from this point that Scott makes the decision to leave - at one point Scott says of herself: "... to admit the truth out loud would have forced me to confront the reality that I needed to leave ...". Robert, however, was determined to have the final, ugly say.

As mentioned, Scott's memoir will long resonate with the reader, many of who may see themselves in her narrative, and one hopes, that Scott's openness with her audience may provide an impetus - for some - for moving forward and finally letting go of the past.

This is not my usual style of reading .. but am so glad that I was offered the opportunity to share in Scott's story.

Review: Dear Arlo by Tom Kreffer

Synopsis: It begins immediately.

There’s no transition period, no trial run, no supervised training, no e-learning module and no simulation that you can f**k up as many times as you need to until you get it right.

As soon as the midwife hands you your newborn baby, you are responsible for keeping it alive.

Picking up moments after Dear Dory ends, Dear Arlo: Adventures in Dadding continues the story of one dad and his journal as he strives to survive the first year of parenthood, blundering his way through bottle-sterilising, night feeds and some cataclysmic nappy changes – all while a pandemic sweeps across the planet.

WARNING: ONCE AGAIN, THIS BOOK CONTAINS A LOT OF SWEARING

Right from the very start Tom asks: " ... we don't just jump into this parenthood gig .. do we? Isn't there some sort of transition phase for new parents? ..."

This self-effacing edition to the "adventures in dadding" series, will put the fear of God into first time dads, whilst bringing tears of laughter to those with their own brood of ankle-biters.

From day one, Tom questions whether or not he should be "... allowed to operate a few minutes old baby ..." , especially given the choice of baby-soothing lullabies (Yogi Bear Song).

Again, we are treated (though I question if that is the right choice of word?) to the daily rituals of feeding, napping changing (including details of the ‘cheeky, up-the-back, explosive shart’), with visits to family, friends, and healthcare professionals that all new parents go through, to first words and first steps unaided.

From Wednesday 12th February 2020:

"Today was great; I was wearing a black T-shirt when you projectile-vomited all over me. Mummy took one look, laughed and told me I looked like a Jackson Pollock painting.".

Kreffer also deals with first-time-parent issues such as leaving baby at home to spend some time together as a couple (code for out on the piss), going on a short holiday, and returning to work. Amid all of this new parent chaos, the dreaded covid is looming on the horizon and we encounter the issues of working from home with an infant under one.

Tom takes us through bed time etiquette:

"He tries to resist, like a victim in a horror movie scraping his nails on the wooden floorboards, but instead of screaming in terror, he giggles and shrieks in delight."

To little accidents:

"... you fell over .... I was holding a hot cup of tea at the time, and when I launched myself to save you from injury, the tea departed the cup and arced perfectly, before swan diving right down my .... " - read on to find out exactly where the tea landed but let us say that men will cringe and shed a small tear.

To the arrival of the first birthday, a father's reflection and a parent's realization that: MEANINGFULNESS + CONTENTMENT = HAPPINESS!

Hillbilly Queer by JR Jamison

Synopsis: J.R. Jamison spends his days in a world of trigger warnings and safe spaces, while his trigger-happy dad, Dave, spends his questioning why Americans have become so sensitive.  Yet at the height of the 2016 election, the two decide to put political differences aside and travel to rural Missouri for Dave’s fifty-five year class reunion. But with the constant backdrop of the Trump vs. Clinton battle at every turn, they are forced to explore one formidable question: Will the trip push them further apart or bring them closer together?

Traveling through the rural, sun-beaten landscapes of Missouri the two meet people along the way who challenge their concepts of right and wrong, and together they uncover truths about their family’s past that reveals more than political differences, they discover a lesson on the human condition that lands them on the international pages of The Guardian.

Hillbilly Queer is an enduring love story between a dad and son who find that sometimes the differences between us aren't really that different at all.

" ... sometimes one has to go back to find their true selves ..."

This for me was a story one one man's journey "... to decide what is important to keep in our lives and what is important to let go .." as he traverses the back roads of Missouri with his 72yo father, Dave, who is on his way to his 55 year class reunion.

Jamison reflects not only on his father's life but on his own, growing up where, although he knew he was gay, it wasn't geographically or culturally permissible to acknowledge this openly - that fear of non-acceptable within the "good ole boy" community and of the social consequences of doing so.

That fact that this memoir coincided with the election that saw Trump come to power was, for me, a non-US citizen, neither here nor there. I guess I was able to compartmentalise the political aspects - everyone is entitled to their own political views and many families hold opposing, and oft time polarising views - nothing new there - I guess it was just that in this instance, it was a bit more public. Maybe others are reading more into this than I am.

I read it for what it was - one man's journey of discovery, acceptance, and most importantly family.

Review: Because He's Jeff Goldblum by Travis Andrews

Synopsis: An irreverent yet deeply researched biography about the always offbeat, suddenly meme-able, and wildly popular actor.

When did you first encounter Jeff Goldblum? Maybe as a deranged killer in his 1974 screen debut in Death Wish? Maybe as a cynical journalist in 1983s The Big Chill? Or a brilliant if egotistical scientist-turned-fly in 1986s The Fly? Perhaps as the wise-cracking skeptical mathematician in 1993s Jurassic Park? Or maybe you're not a film buff but noticed his face as part of one of the Internet's earliest memes. Who knows?

Whenever it was, you've probably noticed that Goldblum has become one of Hollywood's most enduring actors, someone who only seems to grow more famous, more heralded, more beloved through the decades, even though he's always followed his own, strange muse. The guy primarily plays jazz music these days, but is more famous than ever. Actor, pianist, husband, father, style icon, meme. Goldblum contains multitudes, but why? What does he mean?

The Washington Post's Travis M. Andrews decided to find out. And so he set out on a journey through Goldblum's career, talking to directors like Lawrence Kasdan and Philip Kaufman, colleagues like Harry Shearer and Billy Crudup, and pop culture experts like Chuck Klosterman and Sean Fennessey, to get to the bottom of this whole Goldblum thing. And then he took what he learned and he wrote this book, which is titled Because He's Jeff Goldblum and is the best thing written since The Brothers Karamazov and slightly easier to follow. But you should already know that. In this new semi-biography, semi-rumination, and semi-ridiculous look at the career of Goldblum, Andrews takes you behind the scenes of his iconic movies, explores the shifting nature of fame in the twenty-first century, and spends far too much time converting Goldblum's name into various forms of speech.

Want to hear how Goldblum saved a script supervisor from an amorous baboon? Or what he would write on the mirror after taking showers when he was a teenager? How about his feelings on various brands of throat lozenges? (That one could be an entire book unto itself.) Then this is the book for you! 

Very quirky biographical /memoirish style of book with absolutely no contribution from the subject at hand - but I was fascinated none-the-less as Goldblum is such a tenacious, enigmatic, figure, seemingly beloved by all. What more can I say.....

Royal Betrayal: The Great Baccarat Scandal of 1890 by Michael Scott

For two nights at a house party at Tranby Croft, the residence of one of the richest men in England, a card game is played, instigated by the Prince of Wales. One of the players, Lieutenant Colonel Sir William Gordon-Cumming Bt, Scots Guards, is accused of cheating. 

A classic Victorian melodrama: vast amounts of money, illegal gambling, the Royal Family, mistresses, bed-hopping, cover-up, deception and blackmail. 

The saga ranges from the wind-swept remoteness of Gordonstoun in Scotland, big game hunting in Africa and India, to life in the Guards in London and action in the Zulu Wars and Egyptian Campaign of 1882.

For the first time, the Gordon-Cumming family papers are brought to light, including many of Sir William’s diaries and letters, as well as letters from The Royal Archives at Windsor Castle that detail the anxieties amongst the Royal Family. 

Previously undiscovered, there are more than mere coincidental connections between Gordon-Cumming and the Intelligence community. What was he really up to and why didn’t the Prince, his close confidant and friend, bail him out? Views of present-day descendants of those involved are also revealed for the first time. Was Gordon-Cumming a cheat or not? Or was he the scapegoat for something which is shrouded in even more mystery? 

The Martin McGuinness I Knew by Jude Collins

In 'Martin McGuinness, The Man I Knew', Jude Collins offers the reader a range of perspectives on a man who helped shape Ireland's recent history. Those who knew Martin McGuinness during his life talk frankly about him, what he did and said, what sort of man he was. Eileen Paisley speaks of the influence she believes her husband, Ian, had on him; former Assistant Chief Constable Peter Sheridan recounts how the Derry IRA targeted him as a Catholic RUC policeman; peace talks chairman Senator George Mitchell comments on the role he played in talks that led to the Good Friday Agreement; and Sinn Féin President Gerry Adams remembers the man who for so many years was his closest colleague. 

see also

Independent Ireland - Only half the story - The Martin McGuinness I Knew

Irish Times - Gerry Adams - The Martin McGuiness I Knew